Long-distance love isn’t easy; we all know that.
But it’s worth it in the end when you are finally reunited for good — you’ve survived the long, lonely months without each other, and the reward is that you get to live happily ever after with the partner of your dreams. Right?
If you’re going to be spending such huge lengths of time emotionally investing in this relationship (and financially, long-haul flights ain’t cheap), you’re going to want to know that your partner is worth all the heartache in the end. But how do you know?
That’s exactly what we’re going to discuss in this post; lost-distance love, and the signs that your partner is worth it in the long run. Read on for some LDR clarity.
They communicate with you regularly and honestly
When we’re in a long-distance relationship, it can feel like our vision is hampered or we’re left in the dark. Someone you have committed to spending your life with has a separate life in a different location — and you can’t see what’s happening with them all the time.
This is why regular, honest communication is so important in a long-distance relationship (and in any relationship, really).
A clear sign that your partner is worth it is that they keep in touch with you a lot, updating you on the big stuff and the little things in their daily life. If you’re in a healthy relationship, you’re going to want to share as much information with your partner as possible — and hear all about what’s going on at their end.
We’re not talking about keeping in constant communication every second of the day, but regular catching-up on video and little messages about day-to-day life (how their day in the office is going, chatting about plans) show that they are thinking of you. This is a good sign that they are worth it, and that you have a solid and honest foundation for your relationship.
You trust them completely
One of the key indicators of a healthy long-distance relationship — and a clear sign that your partner is worth it is trust.
Trust is vital to the success and survival of any relationship, let alone a long-distance one where you’re spending long periods of time apart. You need to believe in the person you’ve decided to commit to: you need to trust that they feel the same about you and that they are committed to your relationship.
If you don’t trust the person you’re with, then your relationship will suffer in the long-term — and it will impact your own personal happiness and peace of mind too.
Do you trust your partner? If not, think about the reasons why you feel this way. Is it something they have done, such as previous cheating or some suspicious behaviour? Do they leave you in the dark or not reply to your messages, or not tell you where they’ve been?
If they have given you no reason not to trust them, it may be down to you. It’s all too easy to lose trust in someone, especially if you’re insecure or jealous, or have suffered in a previous unhappy relationship. You may need to work on growing your own confidence and self-worth.
For some people, getting some help like counselling might be the answer, allowing you to work through your issues and prevent trust-based problems in your long-distance relationship.
The effort is equal on both parts
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, then you both need to put in equal effort for it to really work. Your relationship needs to be balanced; both of you putting your fair share of work and love into it.
Think about how much you both visit each other or keep in touch. If you are the one shelling out for flights and taking precious time off work to visit them all the time, and they rarely come to visit you (or worse, have never visited), then alarm bells should be ringing. Do they call you or message you first? Or is it always you instigating the conversation? Do they give you long responses and seem interested, or do they reply with one-word answers?
It’s not just the emotional investment that you’re putting into a LDR, it’s the time and money too. It’s really not fair for just one person to carry the weight of a relationship on their shoulders, including the financial side of things.
Of course, there may be some extenuating circumstances, but for the most part, if you’re flying to see them all the time and they don’t reciprocate, you might need to think about whether this is really worth it.
Coming together is the end goal for both of you
For any long-distance relationship to really work, you need to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. That light? Finally being together without any obstacles like distance in the way.
A long-distance relationship can’t just float along with no end in sight; it can’t be sustained by just messages and video calls, and one physical visit every four months. After all, it’s normally just a temporary solution to your situation. You need something bigger to look forward to: a future together, where you live in the same city and the same house.
This should be the end goal for both of you. If you’ve got a planned time when you’re going to finally come together (such as when you finish college or a job or studies abroad) then this is a good sign that your partner and your relationship is worth it.
If you haven’t had a discussion with your partner about this, or they seem reluctant to commit to a future plan like this, then it’s probably time you had an honest talk about commitment and where this is going.
Long-distance relationships are super difficult, and sometimes it’s hard to know if your partner is worth all the heartache and tough times. Loving someone isn’t always enough to make a relationship work and thrive.
If you recognise these signs, then the chances are that your partner is worth it — these are the makings of a healthy, successful long-distance relationship. Just keep that end goal in sight; it’ll be worth it in the long run.